There is only one way to avoid criticism. Do nothing. Say nothing. And be nothing.
aristotle
I’m rusty. No, rusty’s not the right word – dull. Dull like the cheap pocket knife you see at the tourist kiosk in a gas station. It’s been years since I’ve taken the time to put pen to paper and write something worth reading. Can I even call myself a writer?
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For the past decade of my life, I’ve wanted to say something. I don’t want to shout it like an umpire, but to direct it – like I’m the choral director and the choir simultaneously. The actions and words of my life coming together in perfect harmony. But something has always held me back.
Fear. I never thought of myself as a fearful person which is why it’s taken me so long to identify the culprit. It’s a twisted little sickness that won’t let me say what it is I feel or think, and it’s two-fold. I want to be liked. I want people to think of me or hear my name and not feel upset – or worse – uncomfortable. I want to avoid all criticism. So I play it safe. I write nothing. I keep quiet. And even worse, what if what I say is just plain dumb? Or horribly written? Or uses terrible similes about pocket knives? I avoid the clamor inside me afraid when it comes out it sounds more like a cacophony than a symphony.
But a gas station pocket knife I am not. I don’t have a ubiquitous name stenciled on my cheap plastic casing. I have a Creator who made me with a purpose. A God who persistently kindles these ideas and thoughts and urges me to put them together into paragraphs. I’m giving the fear to Him because He tells me to fear not. I’m trusting that He will take my simple offering and make it a melody.
And so, I will write. I will write for all the things I don’t know but want to understand. I will write to connect to God and to man. I will write for myself and whoever wants to read – because God made me a writer.